Why is this man smiling? Because President Saparmurat Niyazov's ingenious election officials have invented a revolutionary approach to "Get Out the Vote" efforts. The bureaucrats in Ashgabat have set a new standard for "full service" -- in addition to handing out special gifts for voters who show up to vote, they even make house calls!

"Polling stations were nearly empty throughout Sunday's Parliament election in Turkmenistan, forcing officials to carry ballot boxes door to door. But the government announced a nearly 80-percent turnout in the former Soviet republic that is ruled by a one-time Communist boss who now is president-for-life."

That would certainly get around those pesky problems of long lines due to too few voting booths, provisional ballots tossed because they were cast at the wrong precinct, lost ballots showing up months later in warehouses, and troublesome e-voting or butterfly ballots. Karl Rove, eat your heart out!

Photo: Alexander Zemlianichenko, AP (File May 2000)